Book Review

A DARING PROMISE: A SPIRITUALITY OF CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE. By Richard R. Gaillardetz. New York: The Crossword Publishing Company, 2002. Pp. 137. $16.95

In A Daring Promise: A Spirituality of Christian Marriage, Richard Gaillardetz notes that his book “might best be viewed not as a marriage manual in which the author unlocks the secrets of a successful marriage but rather something more akin to a pilgrim’s journal in which (he) seek(s) to record something of the spiritual topography of the marriage relationship,” (10). To that end the author blends traditional covenantal theology with anecdotal stories of his experience as a fallible married man—who does not pray with his wife, who struggles with his identity as parent—and creates a volume which he hopes will give married couples of all stripes a better understanding of the daily rewards and challenges of wedded life.

The central theme of A Daring Promise hinges on the notion that vowing oneself to another before God is a radical act. Marriage is difficult for the simple reason that it is the setting in which most Christian adults will, through the help of God, work out their salvation. Gaillardetz eschews the notion that God is a third party brought into the marriage by the couple through prayer in favor of grounding the sacrament in the Paschal Mystery. The consequence of this action is that people are able to commune with God in their daily life of communing with others. “If God is love, if God is gift given eternally, then our participation in the life of God happens not by escaping our everyday world, but by entering more deeply into the life of love and that paradoxical logic of gift which we receive most richly only when we make “gifting” others a way of life,” (39).

A Daring Promise addresses marriage over the course of 137 pages in light of Christian Spirituality, the Life of Communion, Conversion, Sexuality and Parenthood. The author makes use of a multiplicity of sources regarding marriage including Thomas Merton, Saint Augustine, Kallistos Ware, Karol Wojtyla, Karen Lebacqz, and Evelyn and James Whitehead. The author also includes three discussion questions at the end of each chapter aimed at helping married individuals better relate to their spouses. The book succeeds in giving a view of marriage that runs counter to both the “happily-ever-after” and “old ball and chain” fallacies deeply embedded in society. The weaknesses of the book are a reflection of the author himself. At times, Gaillardetz seems to advocate a leap of faith from Church teaching into interpersonal relationships without giving a clear methodology for accomplishing the task. Throughout the book the author brushes off a traditional view of marriage as promulgated by celibate institutional church leaders. Nevertheless, Church authorities, and more importantly, married couples seeking to reconnect with one another could greatly benefit from reading this book. No Index.